literature

One of those times

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Itsomi's avatar
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Literature Text

It was just one of those times really. One of those times where you just want to get away from it all. Whenever I'm about walking, I take note of the scenery, and wonder just how easy it is to hide yourself in the suburbs. I've even saved a few hiding spots, But I don't think I've really used any of them.

Anyway, it was about mid-day this happened. For the past few weeks, no, month's things had been getting heavy for me. University, exams and projects were a big factor. A few friends were getting rowdy and I found myself having to mediate them. Then at home the family was helping out with relatives from overseas that were staying for a while. Ad in extra social outings, and the whole thing was getting a bit too much. At times it was like the colour was slowly being drained from my world and nothing I could do would stop it.

Really it wasn't any one of these things that were getting me down; on their own I had no problem with them, nor should I. But all together I was being worn down, little by little. People asking me to do things I wasn't keen on because 'it wasn't that big of a deal'. Having my own plans delayed because of some occurrence that needed my intervention. And my own time then being eaten up by studies. So I started to get a bit more distant. Looking back on it, I started doing some really silly things. Missing assignments, missing friend's outings and none of that helped the situation. When I get… that way, I seem to just sort of curl up and block out the world. Not healthy I know, but it's the way I was back then.

So I ended looking to lose myself in the jungle I could navigate so well. If I could just find some little dark corner of the city to be alone with my thoughts, maybe things might turn around. Some place no one I knew would think to look for me, a virtual black hole to burry myself in.

I took the bus there in the morning on the pretence of going to see a friend my parents had never heard of. They didn't bat an eyelid; it's not like they knew everyone I hung out with. And I just sat on the bus, staring into space, watching the world go by. Picking a random stop I left and walked along some winding paths. I didn't aim anywhere; I just walked. Passing schools, houses, freeways, all in a blur I didn't even register. Eventually I wound up at a small public library. It was about two in the afternoon by this point, and I had no idea where I was, nor did I care.

I walked inside and strolled around for a bit. I caught the glance of one of the librarians who smiled and shifted her gaze quickly. She was about my age, and looked a bit familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. She was pretty cute, but as soon as that thought entered my mind it triggered what was now an automatic question and answer response.

She's nice
I wonder if she'd…
…of course not, why would she?
You have no experience in that, so what makes you think you'd get some now?
Just ignore her
She's not worth worrying over
You'll forget her soon enough
Like all the other possibilities you had…

I walked down the aisle, gazing at the books and looking for something interesting, large, and time consuming. If there was one thing I wanted to burn, it was time. Titles flicked past. The Berlin Wall: an analysis of the eastern block, Discomfort by Sheryl Fan 'thriller', Aircraft of the 1980ies, The making of Battlestar Galactica, Quantum physics 101: introductory studies. I grabbed a pile of these and dropped them down onto one of the tables. Opening up the first one I flicked through the pages, skim reading but pausing to mull over interesting paragraphs or images. I made sure I had enough around me so that I looked busy, and enough to keep me busy for a while.

The library was beautiful I thought. Perfectly quiet except for the few people that were here. Just the sounds of padded footfalls and flicking pages. Occasionally I would hear a thump of a book landing on a cart or the typing of someone into the search terminals. It was like I was in a world-proof room, where the noise of the outside world was cushioned away from me, sealed off. I lost myself flicking through the books, hours passing like minutes. People came and went and I didn't even notice. It was like that sensory deprivation technique I've heard about, but I didn't need a blindfold or earplugs or anything to do it.

I started shutting down too. I stopped consciously sipping at my drink bottle, stopped checking my phone, stopped shuffling my bag around with my feet like I usually do. Even my eye twitch that happens when I'm stressed like this seemed to stop. My breathing slowed and I was sort of zoned out in a trance. After a while it begun to wear off and I noticed someone enter and walk towards me.

It was Yohan, the first person I'd recognised all day. Initially I felt like the real world had finally found me, my hiding place discovered and was invading, trying to recapture me. But he just walked over and sat alongside me tapping his fingers against the desk.

"Hey" he said quietly.

"Hey" I replied. Silence for a few minutes. He grabbed one of the books I'd been leafing through and observed it himself. It was a book on philosophy I'd grabbed that had stuff on determinism and Aristotle. He started reading it and for a moment I thought that'd be the end of it. I wondered why he hadn't confronted me angrily to come back yet. Soon he spoke.

"Nice place." He said quietly.

"It's quiet" I replied. He had no malice or sarcasm in his words; it was as if he was commenting on the weather. It was probably another ten minutes before I broke the silence.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I'm here?"

"I figured you'd tell me if you wanted to, otherwise I don't think it really matters." Silence again. This time he was the one to break the silence.

"Wanna get out of here and grab a drink?"

"I don't drink."

"Ok, soft drink then?" I checked my drink bottle, noticing it was empty. I must have been sipping it without realising whilst I was zoned out.

"Yeah, sure." By now I was almost speaking in a whisper. The trance I was in had shifted to an apathetic air of non-energy. Everything I did or spoke was smooth and had no energy behind it at all. I had no effort behind my actions anymore, just a follower.

I grabbed my bag, leaving the books on the table. We walked outside and I noticed it was getting near sunset, as well as beginning to get a bit cold. I zipped up my hoodie but kept the actual hood down. Hoodies were about the one thing that I wear more for style and comfort rather than practicality; I dislike actually wearing the hood part of them. It always looks silly and suspicious when I just want to feel relaxed, so if I'm cold I just wear a beanie.

After grabbing two drinks from a nearby vending machine we a found park bench and sat down, sipping the fizzy for a while. The bench was overlooking a small oval of grass, small round hills sloped inwards, allowing the trees to dip just low enough to permit a view of the sunset before it disappeared beneath the urban sprawl that still surrounded us.

"Do you come here often?" he asked

"No, I just wanted to get away. I don't actually know where 'here' is."

"Sherion public library, if you're interested."

More silence. What was he getting at? I thought. He'd been here for more than an hour already had hadn't asked a single probing question. I was grateful of course, but I was a little taken aback by his approach. I was fine not telling him. I didn't want to embarrass myself to anyone, especially him.

Especially him…

I let out a deep breath, one I felt I'd been holding in for most of the year. It felt like some of the pressure had just been lifted off my chest, and I realised I just didn't care about it anymore. Still staring at the sunset, I spoke quietly to him.

"I'm just… tired…"

"I know. I didn't think it was anything else." I looked over at him for the first time, I mean, really looked. He was Caucasian, about an inch taller than I was. He was wearing a brown jacket and jeans, with a surf t-shirt that had some assortment of random scribbles on it. His right side was to me, that arm over the back of the bench, legs outstretched. He took no notice of me staring at him, remaining this composed, cool, calm person. He had short dark hair that was left mostly uncared for, and had a tattoo on his right arm of a few dots and dashes. Morse code for something, but I couldn't read it on the spot.

With that weight lifted, I didn't care about what he thought anymore. I think that was when I realised I understood what he was doing here. He wasn't here to drag me back kicking and screaming to my world. To my exams, to my family or my friends. But he wasn't here to escape either, at least not entirely. He was just here, you know? Like me. I can't quite explain it.

I felt myself lean sideways and slumped into him, resting my head on his shoulder and outstretched arm.  His breast pocket rubbed against my cheek as I felt the warmth of his chest. He didn't react really, but shuffled around to balance to the load a little, taking a swig of his coke as he did, taking it all in stride.

"I just get tired sometimes." I let my left arm drop, brushing against his side as it did.

"Everyone gets tired sometimes." He wrapped his right arm around me, not in a tight hug, but just gently, in a nice way. I didn't really feel like doing anything after that, and I guess neither did Yohan. We just sat there and watched the sun set. Slowly the light peeked through the branches, rays poking out one by one, until it was completely blocked from view, and the only trace of it that was left was an orange glow above the suburbia. All that I could hear was the rumbling of cars behind us, some cockatoos at one point, and the wind blowing through the trees. After a good long while he spoke, breaking the tranquillity.

"Did you leave anything in the library?"

"Just some books on the table, why?"

"Well they can clean that up, it's their job. Do you want to head off? It's getting a bit cold."

"Yeah. I think I'm good now." I stood up and grabbed my bag, unwrapping myself from his embrace. Yohan adjusting his jacket, then stood pondering something.

"You know what? I don't feel like driving all the way back to your house, do you want to crash at my place tonight."

"Yeah, that'd be good" I said with a small smile on my face. He returned it as we began walking towards the library car park.

"I'll text your folks to expect you in the morning." He took out his phone as we walked to the car, and I followed him, and I just felt so much better, but I don't really know why. I just did.




In the library, the staff were getting ready for lockup. Packing away the largest piles of books strewn about, shutting down the computers, and then stocking the chairs for the cleaners to get at the floor tomorrow morning.

At the desk the girl sighed. Another long, not so boring day was over and she could go home. As she was about to get up, she felt her phone vibrate in silent mode. Activating it, she checked her messages, and sure enough, there was one that was new.

It was in response to her last one. "Is he ok?"

To which the sender replied "It was just one of those times."
A story idea i had whilst walking home from work one night about someone recounting a time they just got really tired .
© 2011 - 2024 Itsomi
Comments5
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writergirl92's avatar
I have said this before, and I will say it again - you are a fantastic writer. This had great description and pacing, and the narrator had a good voice.
I envy your skills (:
Just one thing; 'I left and talked along some winding paths' I have a feeling you meant 'walked.'
Brilliant stuff.